Here’s how I see it: You and I have these empty baskets at the side of our beds. We get up in the morning, you at your place, me at mine (for now). Turn off the alarm. Rub the sleep from our eyes. Muse over dream images. Stretch. Make sure everything is in working order. There is no wrong or right side from which to awake, but there are these baskets. Every day I choose to fill mine with joy: The excitement of a new day. Visions of sandy beaches like Fripp Island, North Carolina…one of my favorite places so far. The love of friends and family. Smart comedy. Intimacy. The NY Philharmonic. Celebrations. My daughter’s brilliant career. The deliciously frosted cake that is my life. Tell me, what are you filling yours with?

I’m looking for the luscious cherry to top off my cake. I’m missing someone to kiss goodnight, missing the voice on the other end of the phone. We don’t necessarily need each other, but we definitely want each other. We’re both grown-ups right? Okay…so not completely. What would be the fun in that? I don’t want to be dependent on a man for my joy and I don’t want him dependent on me for his. But let’s (look to) increase the joy in our lives together. Like me, you’ll want a little time to yourself. Not too much, but just enough to bring new experiences to the table (sofa, or any item of furniture you choose).

Don’t be shy. If we’re out in public and the urge overtakes you, take me in your arms and kiss me. You’ll be just as happy when I initiate affection without any prompting on your part. Let’s never be afraid to dance to elevator Muzak if the mood strikes us. Who knows…maybe we’ll be responsible for a new craze and have our 15 minutes of fame…together! (or be cast for Dancing With the Stars)

I take care of my appearance and health and it’s non-negotiable that you do as well. You have a good sense of style. I’m not talking about baseball caps worn backwards. And sneakers on anything other than a tennis date is definitely not sexy in my book. If you’re a metrosexual with more personal care products than me, that’s okay, as long as you’re willing to share a little moisturizer and shelf space. If you spend a lot of time in your car, it won’t look like it. At least not when you arrive to take me out. I’d rather not step into an empty Burger King bag after you open the door for me. Fries and Ferragamos do not go well together.

I don’t want your money, but I want you to be generous. If you are, you’ll know what I mean. If you don’t, we’re not a good match. If you’re out of work because you’re between jobs and there’s one on the horizon, that’s okay. If you’re just plain out of work, it’s not. I like to travel, so you should have an adventurous spirit and be able to afford your habit.

At this point in my life, my long terms goals are peace and contentment, and watching my adult daughter flourish. Oh…and brushing up on my tennis game, hopefully with my new partner. You’ll be more accomplished in that area than I am and push me to be my best.

And what is this winking thing? Be a man…have the courage of your convictions to compose a few sentences so you’ll stand out from the virtual crowd and have a chance to win my heart in real time.